A lamentable exercise in political correctness, although one motivated out of the sincere concern and exquisite politeness of former Governor General Romeo LeBlanc, who found it "rude" to have the Vice-Regal Lion sticking his tongue out to visitors, is now quietly being reversed. Her Excellency the Governor General has caused a fresh design of the Badge of her Office to be created, as indeed many Governors General have done. It will be employed at Rideau Hall as re-decoration needs to be accomplished, china or silverware replaced or stationery reprinted. Indeed one of the joys of visiting Rideau Hall is to spot the many slightly-different vice-regal emblems which reflect the historic nature of The Queen's Canadian home.

 

In contrast to the fury with which the Beast's delanguing and declawing had been met in Heraldic and Monarchical circles, attracting media attention rather out of proportion to its importance, the ­ shall we say ­ re-equipping of Her Excellency's Lion was met with muted celebration.

 

The Dominion Chairman of the Monarchist League of Canada, however, was fortunate enough to meet the Beast, and served as his amanuensis through this letter that appeared in National Post whose verse, it is rumoured, may even have found its way to Rideau Hall. The Private Member's Bill to create for Canada the position of Poet Laureate not yet having found Parliamentary approval, Mr Aimers proposes to continue his current rather more practical efforts on behalf of the Crown!

 

A Vice-Regal Roar

While strolling the other day in the gardens of Rideau Hall, I chanced to come upon the Vice-Regal Lion, who seemed fully recovered after two bouts of plastic surgery during recent years. After greeting me with an affectionate slobber of his splendidly-reconstructed tongue, he displayed proudly his restored and beautifully manicured claws. The Beast had written some verse during his recuperation, which he has asked me to convey both to The Governor-General, as his thanks, and to the public in appreciation for its concern over his well-being during this trying period of his life. Which task I do, as HM's most faithful and obedient servant.

 

I've now my claws and tongue regained,

I've lost the look of feeling pained;

De-languing and de-clawing make

Me feel a lesser beast, a fake;

But Adrienne does my life revive

And for this kindness, I'll e'er strive

To make Her Ex (and Consort) thrive

As long as I am lion alive.

A friendly cuss I am, in fact:

What some call "fierce" ­ 'tis but an act

Unless I see my boss attacked:

And then I'll show them ­ I ne'er lost

The will to fight, whate'er the cost

To serve as Queen's right royal pride

To range o'er Rideau's verdure wide ­

Guard safe the GG by my side

And say to all republicans

Or Catholic Bishops (they're no fans)

"I am the Lion at Rideau Hall

You thought I'd left? Well, pray recall

I've been but slumbering, twice made over,

But meantime, lying in the clover?

Nay ­ my fresh-honed style, you see

Is mark and boast of loyalty

To Throne, Dominion, Viceroy ­ all

Who harkened to my once-pained call,

And brought me back ­ complete, full bore,

A lion fit to rage and roar,

Who says to all who hear my voice:

"Long live Adrienne ­ most Royal Choice!"